Inspired and Inspiring

Hello World,

My fourteen year-old daughter Heidi is an inspiration to me. She is moulding who I am as much as my mothering may influence her (if not more so). It is I who have followed her lead on becoming a vegetarian, in making fashion choices, in being more forgiving. She thinks deeply and spiritually. So, look out! She is going to change the world. In some ways she already has.

Heidi recently submitted an article to the Christian Science Publishing Society. Since they decided not to print it, I have her permission to post it here. Enjoy!

With love,
Maria

Pen One With Love, Despite Writer’s Block
by Heidi

I recently had an assignment to write an inspirational article. Two days before it was due, I had part of the article written, but my heart was not in the writing and the whole thing seemed extremely superficial. For days I had put off working on it, feeling a stubborn sense of writer’s block, and once or twice crying because I didn’t know how to make the article feel “real.” My mom finally said that if I didn’t finish the article, I couldn’t go to Six Flags with my friends the next day.

I was desperate for everything to work out, but I didn’t know what or how to do it. I wanted so badly for this article to be perfect, for people to see it and think, "Wow, that is really good." I wanted the others in the group to be impressed by me.

I was crying in confusion again about the article and what I was going to do--how it all had to be perfect. My mom had me call a Christian Science practitioner, and while she gave me some ideas and agreed to pray for me about the article, I hung up the phone feeling even more hopeless. Now there was yet another person I would disappoint if this wasn’t an amazing article.

At this point, I was quite hysterical. I sat in front of the blank computer screen screaming at God to help me. I was trying to calm myself, but I only felt helplessness. I kept yelling prayers that I have learned from Sunday School, but I have said them so many times that they felt almost meaningless.

I was shaking uncontrollably when my golden retriever, Bogie, walked in the door wagging his tail. I collapsed onto him, clinging onto his fur with all my might. For a few minutes I just sobbed into his warm coat, as he stood there patiently, with a calm peace almost uncharacteristic for him.

I felt God in Bogie just then. I felt that all really was well, and no matter what I wrote for the article it wouldn’t matter what people thought. "If Love is at all present, it is all that is present," is another thought that ran through my head, and I had to smile at how true that was. Bogie was expressing so much joy and comfort. I felt so much love and gratitude in that moment. Bogie knew that Love was here. It occurred to me that I could just love what I have to write, too.

I remembered a quick healing of food poisoning I had when the same practitioner asked me, “How do you feel about Bogie?” I had responded by telling her how much I loved him. She said something along the lines of, “So you feel good about him. If you can feel that goodness and you can feel that love for Bogie, then that is all you can feel and know in every other aspect of your life. God good does not pick and choose where goodness and love are going to be. The all-knowing only knows how to be All-in-all, not All-in-some (part of your life) or Part (of God) in-all. But All-in-all. Since there is only one measure of God, good.... and that is infinite, allness, if God is at all present in your life, He is all-present.” This thought came to my mind again as I buried my head in Bogie’s chest. I knew that God had a plan and it was going to work out.

A sudden wave of joy and peace came over me, and I started yelling again, only this time it was, “Thank you, thank you God.” I had an answer. It didn’t matter if I didn’t know what I was going to write just yet. Nothing had to be humanly perfect. I didn’t need to fear. God really did speak to me then. In that instant, I felt completely healed of any anxiety I had regarding the project, and of any sense of hysteria. Suddenly, I knew what I wanted to write about; I felt it and I loved it. Bogie licked me one more time, then walked out of the room, still wagging his tail. His work was done.

With that new sense of peace, gratitude and excitement that I had all I needed, that God really had spoken to me and it was not superficial in any way, I began to write. I felt God’s presence more than I had in a long, long time. When I was done with the article, I knew it was not perfect, but that was ok. The true thought behind it and the love I felt would show through, and that was all that mattered. I didn’t need to worry about being judged; I felt good about what God had led me to write, and so wonderfully at peace about the whole situation.

That love, peace, and inspiration from God and through Bogie has been such a blessing and turning point for me. Thank you Bogie, and thank you God.