Yes, It is a Science!

What a weekend! The last month has been extremely busy at work, and things needing attention and prayer at home have abounded as well (and that’s not including the laundry and grocery shopping). Problems with my email account tipped the delicate balance I had been trying to maintain, and yesterday morning I simply fell apart. I hadn’t received replies to some important emails, and the silence brought hurt feelings and tears--tears that I managed to hold back at church, but which returned in full force as soon as I got home. Later in the day, I discovered that loving replies had indeed been sent, but were being filtered out as undeliverable by my server. But even knowing the truth of the situation didn’t seem to quell the tears. I still felt like I had been through the wringer. I was tired, sad that my on-line server had caused so many problems, upset with myself for being so fragile, disappointed that my fears and tears had made things difficult for my family and others.

It was time to practice everything I had preached in my first few blogs—the transforming power of gratitude, the magnitude of God’s grace, and the willingness to move forward with a new prayer-impelled perspective. I don’t believe there is any formula to prayer, but it seemed important in this case to prove to myself that my postings weren’t just fluff. So I once again began my prayers with simple gratitude—in this case, gratitude relating to grace: “Thank you God for causing me to feel Your grace—a grace that refreshes and wipes away tears. Thank you God for making me peaceful and joyful.” I had to persist, to keep wrestling with fatigue and self-condemnation, but as I did, little by little I could feel the burden lift. The religion I practice is called Christian Science, and I could feel the science of it (not just of Christian Science but of heartfelt prayer irrespective of denomination). I could feel laws of gratitude and grace in operation as peace and confidence began to return to my thought. Sensing the science at work helped give momentum to my continued thankful prayers.

It was several hours before the sparkle returned to my eyes, but I ended the day once again amazed at God’s mercy—the slate had been wiped clean. I was able to look at my husband free from the shame that had fueled earlier tears, and I went to bed ready to face the new week with hope.