Costa Rica...How It Began

Dear Kate,

In a few days, you leave for camp, and just over two weeks later, our family moves to Costa Rica for a year--an adventure that actually grew out of insights you shared from another drive to Colorado this past October (see Kate's Oct. 28, 2oo8 post "Thank you for hearing me...." at http://stoneriverstudio.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html). As you were driving, a friend called on your cell phone and commented on how happy you sounded. Reflecting on the conversation, you talked about hearing your voice in a figurative concert hall...in an atmosphere where you felt "free of past impressions or future expectations."

Last fall was challenging for Heidi. In her search for who she is and what she believes in , she was finding it difficult to live in our house on the campus of a conservative Christian school. Even though she was no longer a student there, she didn't feel like she had much mental breathing space. After your comments, I found my heart longing for Heidi to find a Carnegie Hall in which to hear the voice of her soul.

You have often written about God planting desires in our heart...and then answering them. A few days later, I got the clear message that, "You won't have to move off campus to meet Heidi's needs." "OK God," I replied. "I look forward to hearing what you have in mind." I didn't have to wait long.

Within a week, the outline of a family sabbatical to Monteverde was in place. Prior to this, we'd never seriously talked about living abroad, and none of us had ever been to Costa Rica. But Mike had occasionally mentioned his desire to travel as a family with a community service focus. I looked at several international community service websites and then investigated Christian Science schools abroad as possibilities for Lincoln (I knew we'd need to balance his love of home with Heidi's spirit of adventure), but nothing clicked until I glanced at a Monteverde Conservation League newsletter in my inbox. Several of Lincoln's classmates had traveled to Costa Rica; so the idea wasn't completely foreign to him. A web search quickly led me to two bilingual schools in Monteverde, and I learned that in this community founded by pacifist Quakers in thd 50s, you can get by with minimal Spanish--a good thing since Mike and I are just beginning to learn the language. And Costa Rica has no quarantine on pets. (Yes, the dog and cats are going with us.)

For now, I'll keep the story short and skip most of the details between last October and today. The school where we work has generously granted Michael and me leaves of absence for next year. The kids have been accepted at the Cloud Forest School (http.www.cloudforestschool.org) where we will be one of ten international families at the mostly native Tico school. We've arranged to rent out our house in St. Louis and are busy packing.

While the trip may have started out as an answer to our prayers for Heidi, we now see how in different ways it promises a needed practice room and concert hall for each family member--a place to learn more about who we are as individuals, a family, and as part of a global community. It is an anwered prayer for all of us.

I'll be thinking of you while you are at camp and will miss being a bunkhouse mom there this summer. As you look out at your snow capped peaks, I will gaze out over Costa Rica's tree-canopied mountain tops to the Pacific Ocean and hear the spirit of your voice in the wind.

Happy trails!

With gratitude and love,
Maria

I Found It!

Dear Family and Friends,

I think I found my voice. A friend suggested that I didn't need to look any farther than the emails I so love to write. (Why do I feel like Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz" realizing that her ticket home was right at her heels all along?) I expanded on a recent email a bit and voila--"Yielding to the Art" can be found below. Email has united me with some of my dearest friends, been a vehicle to think through deep issues, a forum for endearing chit chat, and lots of exercise for my happy fingers. So this morning I will yield to my voice and yield to Grace.

"There's no place like home."

I love you,
Maria

New Jeans

One of my goals is to find my voice as a thinker and healer. However, I never thought this desire would lead to a blog. (Watch out what you ask God for!) It really wasn’t that long ago when posting a comment on someone else’s blog felt like a gigantic step for me. I feel like a total rookie. I expect that the timbre and color, the sound and feel of my blog may change as I experiment with what does and doesn’t fit me—kind of like going to a clothing store and trying on racks and racks of pants to find the perfect pair of jeans.

I did that this summer. My daughter and I went to the Gap in search of “non-Mom jeans.” God must have led me to the right sales clerk because she didn’t laugh at me but sent me off to a dressing room and brought me various options until we found pants that fit. Even though I loved my new jeans, it took several months before I was completely comfortable in them. I wasn’t used to the length or flair or where they rode on my hips. For a while, I found myself constantly readjusting them. Sometimes I wanted to throw out the new look and feel altogether. But as I headed off to a jazz concert last night, I didn’t think twice about quickly pulling on a pair of my now comfy “old” jeans.

It’s interesting to me how my clothing adventures have so closely paralleled my life adventures. The last year has been full of paradigm shifts for me—trying on new ideas, mentally tugging and pulling on them to make them my own. Just as I’ve been replacing and thinning my wardrobe piece by piece (sometimes getting rid of clothes I’ve had since high school), I’ve been sifting through my thoughts asking, “How did this perspective get here? Is it something I inherited from my family? Has it been molded by the values of the culture or religion I’m accustomed to? ” I’ve come to enjoy wrestling with ideas.

However, frankly at the moment I’m feeling a little naked. I’m not exactly sure when I’m going to come out of my mental dressing room and what I’ll be wearing. I don’t have a plan for this blog. I can’t promise myself or anyone else consistency. Yet, whenever I write, I hope to come forth with compassion and honesty. Beyond that, God only knows.

So here’s to new jeans! new thoughts! new voices!